Better

Tonight is going way better than this morning.

Why? No idea. I just feel as though the silver lining is back. I don't know what the lining is, but it's back. He's still texting me. He's the only one that does. Makes me imagine I'm important to him somehow, even though I know I'm not, but that's alright. Just talking makes it feel less painful.

I really regret not taking up piano after Canmore. I didn't like it, but I wished I had. I love music and I feel almost a failure to art, music, that I can't make my own. I think I will try and teach myself the theory, I know I have a book on it somewhere.

I was productive tonight, which is good. Got through my script, which I should have done ages ago. Did my bonus in Bio - that class depresses me so. I love it. I am fascinated by it. Why can't I get good marks in it? Oh yeah, because I have no time/ energy to study for it.

Multimedia. Ugh. The only reason I like it is because I can zone out. Or I can talk to two of the most influential people in my life right now. Either or, makes for a good class. 'Cept I can never abide deadlines. No time. No focus. No ideas. No creativity. There is always a problem.

Sometimes I wish I could trade all my organizational skill, all my mediokre knowledge for some damn applicable talent. Singing. Dancing. Writing. SOMETHING. Of course, nothing. I am doomed to be a good organizer. Yay.

Funny, this is me feeling better about myself.